I find my self saying that a lot lately, “Try Again.” Matthew is in the first grade now and he is working so hard on reading and spelling. In the evenings we study together and he’ll get words wrong and I will correct him. Then he will try again and again until he gets it right.
I spend a lot of time working with Matthew on making him better, and little time making myself better. In many ways I think I need to be telling myself to “Try Again.”
I want to “Try Again” every time I loose my cool, forget something important (happening a lot lately), raise my voice, say something that I shouldn’t have, there are so many ways I think I can do better. How can I expect my son to take me seriously when I correct him, in an effort to help him be better, if I am not correcting myself. If I want him to work hard at making himself better, I want him to see me working hard to make myself better.
One thing that I have learned about myself over the years, is that I am better when I write. I may not have the best grammar (hopefully this semester of copy editing will help with that), but writing improves me. One day when I die, my family will go through all of my junk and find notebook after notebook filled with scribbles, random numbers and pages of my thoughts. I have little organization of my thoughts, just pages filled with them.
I recently went through some of the notebooks and found that I mainly write when I am mad or frustrated. Instead of venting at others, or posting my drama all over Facebook, I conceal it in notebooks in my house. It may sound terrible that I write mostly in times of trouble, but I found something amazing about myself while going through those old notebooks. I found that I start out venting to myself on paper and my rants of scribbles usually end on a very happy and thankful note. See when I write, I am able to work through my frustrations, and in the end, I feel so much better. As I was looking back through some of my notes, I was able to vividly remember the feelings that I had when I wrote them, and seeing how I worked through them on paper, was, well I already said it…amazing.
Writing is good for me, but I want more than my random notebook scribbles. I started my first blog in 2010. I made two posts and then attempted again in 2011. Then I attempted again in 2012, this time I decided I needed two blogs (because I was just writing so much lol). In 2013 I gave up on both blog sites, deleted them and created a brand new one, this one. I blogged four times in 2013. Well it is nearing the end of 2014 now, and I bet you see a pattern here. LOL
Here we go….Let’s try this again.
Kendra Lewis 